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How Self-Compassion Supports You in Difficult Times
Life can be challenging, and often the difficult times come out of the blue, just when you thought everything was going along fine. Sound familiar?
We wonder what we did wrong, feel that we’re alone with our problems and that no one else understands or has been here before.
Then we not only have the problem, whatever it is, but we also feel isolated and alone with it as well—which is another source of stress for us!
What we need is to become a friend to ourselves, not a critic – and mindful self-compassion shows you how to do that.
Self-Compassion Begins with Understanding You’re Not Alone
With mindful self-compassion, we recognise that life is difficult and challenging for everyone. Not everyone has the same dose of difficulty, of course, but no one avoids difficult times completely.
Think about that for a moment: do you know anyone who has never failed, lost someone or something, been ill either physically or mentally, or felt inadequate?
Even the most talented, wealthy and privileged people still have difficulties in their lives. If we think someone doesn’t have any problems, we probably don’t know them very well!
Recognising that difficulty is part of life, you don’t have to feel that there’s ”something wrong with me” for experiencing challenges.
Instead, reflect on the shared nature of difficulty. In fact, out of 7 billion human beings on the planet, it’s pretty probable that there will be many people in the same or very similar circumstances to you, feeling just as you do right now.
Of course, we don’t want other people to be suffering, but nonetheless there’s something reassuring about knowing it’s ”not just me then.”
Are You Pretending You’re Okay When You’re Not?
We often pretend that everything is okay by putting on a brave face, saying ”fine!” when someone asks how we are doing.
Or maybe we’re pretending to be okay by keeping busy and distracting ourselves from how we really feel.
Longterm, this isn’t a good strategy. I liken it to finding something dodgy in the fridge and pushing it to the back to stay there for a bit longer…we know what happens then! The same happens with our emotional life—unresolved issues tend to fester and get worse over time.
How Mindfulness Helps with Self-Compassion
Mindfulness is essential for self-compassion to help us recognise when things are actually difficult for us and not turn away or pretend we’re okay when we’re not. This takes some courage, but it’s essential: being real and authentic about how we feel.
The other aspect of mindfulness, apart from recognizing the truth of how we feel, is to not feed it with spiralling thoughts, but to stay in the experience of the emotion in the body.
Emotional thoughts will come in, of course, telling us stories that will amplify the emotion, but that isn’t helpful. It takes determination, but we can “unhook” from the stories and come back to the body, and to our feet on the ground.
Another way mindfulness is useful is to recognise that even though an emotion may feel strong, it will pass and doesn’t define us; it’s like passing weather.
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Look After Yourself with Self-Compassion!
The final aspect where mindful self-compassion can help is holding the intention to be kind to ourselves, particularly in difficult times. This can be in the form of physical self-care—eating, sleeping and exercising—as well as finding support from friends and professionals if needed.
Consider doing the things you love, whatever that is, or trying something new to stretch your wings.
Simply having the intention to be kind to ourselves is helpful for deciding how to spend our time. It helps make our inner experience easier to handle. Remember to be a friend to yourself, rather than a critic.
Recommended Tracks for Self-Compassion
https://www.aurahealth.io/track/selfcompassion-break-jiva-masheder-1
https://www.aurahealth.io/track/soothing-and-supportive-touch-jiva
https://www.aurahealth.io/track/compassion-for-self-and-others-jiva-masheder
Remember, you are never alone with your suffering, and the option of being kind to yourself is always available to you. The more you cultivate mindful self-compassion, the easier and more natural it becomes. These tracks will help you become more self-compassionate. Keep practicing.
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